Spain & Portugal

Yesterday as I was standing in front of the Palacio Real, symbol of Bourbon opulence and the largest royal palace in Western Europe, swearing at my over-large map, the kind the tourist office ensures is large enough to identify you as a tourist, so the people with clipboards can attack you for money.

    A din arose as hundreds of people rode by on bicycles… naked. What they wanted was not clear immediately. Some chanted “Gasolina es asesina” while others sported paint jobs reading “Coches = mierda” (cars are shit). I thought it might have been some modern day anti-technology protest, or maybe an environmentalist rally. Alter speaking to several members of the protest, I discovered they were riding in solidarity to protest the danger of riding a bicycle in Madrid because of the scary driving, and the lack of respect paid to cyclists. Some rode one-handed to take pictures, or to down their beers (Let’s Go does not recommend this). Some brought their children (fully clothed).

    They were given an official police escort, of course, to block traffic. Policemen in cars, preventing cars from blocking a group of cyclists protesting cars… I don’t know if anyone else enjoyed the poetry of the situation… but judging from all the pictures taken, they were enjoying the nudity of it.

Ever resisted the urge to start a cafeteria food fight, harbored the irrational desire to endanger your life in front of large animals, been fascinated with flames, or wanted to consume large amounts of alcohol in public? Have no fear, intrepid adventurer! Satisfy your strangest cravings during these quirky and classic Spanish festivals. You’re sure to come home with a good story – if you’re lucky enough to remember it.

Las Fallas de San José

Valencia’s most renowned festival, typically held during the week of March 19, welcomes spring in a fiery fashion. Las Fallas is a pyromaniac’s dream – enormous papier-maché effigies go up in flames, fireworks light up the sky, and a week-long party ensues.

Paso del Fuego

Held in the tiny town of Soria, this festival is held on the shortest day of the year (March 23-24). Only the strong survive this brazen act of courage, as locals attempt to walk over a 2-meter stretch of glowing coals. Some even attempt the flaming feat with friends or relatives on their backs. Tourists beware, however, as the Sorianos say, “los de fuera se queman,” or, in short, eager or reckless foreigners risk a good scorching!

Batalla de Vino

Meaning “wine battle,” this fiesta is just what it sounds like – wet and wild. Celebrated on June 29 in the heart of Spain’s La Rioja wine region, every year revelers recreate a territorial battle between Haro’s townspeople and the neighboring Miranda de Ebro. Thousands of liters of wine are used to spray tourists and locals alike, who return looking as purple as the region’s famous grapes. 

Fiesta de San Fermín

No limits, no lethargy, and no liability make Pamplona’s famous fiesta (July 6-14) Europe’s premier party. No other festival has mayhem quite like this nine-day frenzy of parades, bullfights, dancing, fireworks, concerts, wine, and more wine. Pamploneses, clad in white with fajas (red sashes) and pañuelos (red bandannas), cram in innumerable hours of merry-making, displaying impossible levels of physical stamina and alcohol tolerance envied by even the hardiest of partiers flown in from out of town. During the encierro (running of the bulls), hundreds of bleary-eyed, adrenaline-charged runners flee from large, horned bulls, as bystanders cheer from barricades, windows, and balconies.

Bou en la Mar

This underwater version of San Fermín occurs during the 1^st and 2^nd week of July in the coastal town of Dénia. Participants dodge feisty bulls on a quay until man, bull, or both get edged into the surf.

La Tomatina

The world’s biggest organized food-fight takes place each year in Buñol on the last Wednesday of August. Ripe tomatoes brought in by the truck-load fly through the air, covering the town and participants in a sticky mess. The origins of this food-fight are unclear: some say it began as a fight between friends, while others say the original tomatoes were directed at unsatisfactory civil dignitaries. Today, no one is safe from the wrath of the hundreds of pounds of tomatoes hurled at friends and foreigners alike.

Concurs de Castells

This Catalan tradition involves the construction of human towers, or castells, sometimes as tall as 7 stories high. The towers are erected very carefully and according to specific techniques: the climax of the event occurs when the anxaneta, a young boy or girl, climbs to the top of the tower and salutes the crowd below. The Concurs de Castells, or Castle Tournament, takes place every two years on the first Sunday of October in Tarragona.

Bullfighting has been a part of Iberian culture for centuries, dating back to the Moorish occupation. Eager to expel the Muslim invaders, Iberian noblemen trained themselves for combat on horseback. This gave rise to the original form of bullfighting; soon, bullfighting on horseback (toureio equestre) became a national tradition in both Spain and Portugal.

It was a Portuguese nobleman, Dom Pedro Alcântara y Meneses, who founded the activity as it is known today, laying down the formal rules of the fight. When Spanish King Carlos II died childless in 1700, the crown passed to Felipe V, of the French house of Bourbon. Disgusted by bullfighting's brutality, the Bourbons banned it in the mid-1700s; to avoid the ban, commoners took to fighting bulls on foot, giving birth to the Spanish variety.

In Portugal, the traditional art of toureio equestre has persisted. Beginning in the 18th century, however, it became illegal to kill the bull within the ring. The objective of the toureio equestre thus turned from slaughter to displaying the agility of the horse. Fights last 10min. and consist of the matador navigating his horse so as to plant six darts in the bull's neck, perhaps a more graceful version of the timeless battle between man and beast.